Why a Better Understanding of Nonverbal Communication Is So Important for Care Providers

Western cultures that hold the cognitive mind in greater esteem than the body, emotions, and spirit create inhospitable environments for people with declining cognitive abilities. Challenged to live in a world which undervalues their abilities can be isolating and humiliating for a person living with dementia.

Yet, even as their rational “thinking” abilities decline, people with dementia often become more attuned and sensitive to their social and emotional environments. They are often expert at reading emotions and nonverbal communication because their emotional safety depends on it. Expert.

Every person comes into the world without words. We learn to communicate, relate to one another, and begin to develop mastery over our worlds before we have verbal language. As carers, we need to tap into that way of knowing again, for that understanding is what people with dementia retain the longest. Without words, they must rely once again on nonverbal communication because the meeting of their needs and their emotional safety depends on it. So how do we as care providers help people living with a dementia experience emotional safety?

About 20 years ago, I approached the Director of Education and Training for an Alzheimer’s organization. I was offering my nonverbal communication training to his agency. I told him that, at the time, the U.S. was not focusing on the social emotional environment for people with dementia. I saw it evident in the literature in the UK, Canada, Australia, and Sweden, but not the U.S. I had recently completed a 20 hour training, of which 1 to 2 hours in total were spent on communication, and, of that, only 15 or 20 minutes was on nonverbal communication. I said, “but that’s the language people with dementia speak.” He answered “they” (the powers that be) want professional trainings in “behavior management”. Therein lies the problem. As soon as we see '“behavior management”, we see a problem to be solved rather than a person who’s suffering, having difficulty communicating their needs. I replied, “They want easy answers”; they want a problem fixed.

It’s as though we learn 12 words in another person’s language, and think that’s sufficient. We give people10 rules to guide them. What we need is the ability to connect the dots, to feel the feelings in the space between us. Not a small thing. We need to learn their dialect. How to be. What a glorious lesson we have the opportunity to learn.

You can watch me speak on this topic in an ADTA Talk, sponsored by the Marian Chace Foundation of the ADTA: https://youtube.com/shorts/XKNaIkx4tOU?si=2HoEhOPXb6RXvgji

You can purchase the manual here. Or an Octaband®, which can help you focus on the space between.